Can't Fight This Feeling
by irishgirl01
Summary: It all starts with a dare. Then it went downhill from there. Or.. uphill? Puckurt.
1. Chapter 1: No Air

**Story: **Can't Fight This Feeling

**Chapter One: **No Air

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. But hey, if no one wants it after the show ends..

**Author's Note:** Hey, this is my first fanfic. I've only been on fanfiction for a little while, but as soon as I started reading, I knew that this site was good for a creative outlet. So, me being an amateur writer, never finishing my books because I hate them.. I think this will be nice, and maybe give me a little inspiration to actually finish something. Sorry if Kurt's POV is a little out-of-character, Kurt is enthusiastically witty and I am not. I am not gay either, so that also poses problems. But review and tell me what I need to fix. This is unbeta-ed, because I am a language Nazi and believe I can fix most of my errors beforehand. And I am also a born ranter, so sorry for the long author's note. :D

**Kurt's POV**

I woke up, covered in sweat, with my sheets wrapped loosely around my head. I detangled myself, nearly knocking my phone off my bedside table in my struggle to free my lungs, and gasped for breath. The air around me was hot, and I figured my dad had turned up the heat in the night. _Probably was sleepwalking again, _I thought.

For poor Burt Hummel, sleepwalking had become a bad habit ever since my mom had died. Hell, we both had our restless habits. He, with his sleepwalking, and I, with my nightmares. When the two combined, we were in trouble. I looked at the clock. _5:30. _Right on schedule.

I most likely could have gotten up later, but slipping out of bed earlier guaranteed that if an emergency - a ripped sweater, an oozing pimple, or (gasp!) the ghastly demon that is a grape juice stain - presented itself, I would have plenty of time to conquer the problem. And still have room for a quick hair-fix.

An hour later, I was completely and utterly ready for my day, so I took the time to settle down and read. Soon, my naturally angsty (I am, a teenager after all) thoughts subsided, and I dove into the romance-filled scenes of Jonathan's and Nicholas' relationship. I had a simple stash of romance novels hidden away from my father, even after I had admitted my being gay. This particular piece, one with plenty of erotic scenarios and drama, was my favorite, and I had it under lock and key in a small chest filled with my most prized possesions.

One would probably assume that the chest would be filled with magazine clippings or my favorite hat, but truly, I would do anything to keep these belongings safe. All the clothes, the musicality, even my sexuality would be forgotten if only to keep my chest safe. Inside, the brown, wooden box contained memoirs. Pictures of my mother, her engagement ring (which I had successfully obtained from my father after years of carefully planned arguments), my old stuffed bunny rabbit, Glinda.. everything I could fit into the box that would remind me of past times long forgotten - were all featured in the collection.

At seven, I heard Burt Hummel's voice fill the now crisp, cold air of my basement.

"Kurt, I have breakfast on the ta- What are you reading?"

I calmly set down the book, glad its title (Black Sheep) wasn't revealing to its content.

"Just a book about how the recessive genes of sheep allow some sheep to become black or dark gray in color, by using a simple chart, we can predict this phenome-"

"Okay, I get it.." Dad said. I resisted the urge to smirk triumphantly. _Thank god that Mom was the witty one.._

"Just be up in five minutes for food." I nodded and stood up, brushing my jeans off as my dad went up the stairs. I quickly grabbed the book and stuffed it into the open chest, shutting the wooden box and locking it. I pushed the chest into its alcove, and drew the curtain surrounding it. I began my trek up my stairs, letting the sweet smell of sausage fill my senses.

* * *

I walked outside after a hearty meal of eggs and sausage (my dad really likes to cook) and breathed in the cold air. It filled my lungs and refreshed my body. Feeling like I could take on the world, I straightened my bangs and began to walk to McKinley High.

* * *

I ran into the dark solitude of the janitor's closet, my mind reeling with confusion. _What just happened?_


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Stand So Close To Me

**Story: **Can't Fight This Feeling

**Chapter: **Don't Stand So Close To Me

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. If I did, Glee wouldn't be allowed on television.

**Author's Note: **Hi guys. Even though I don't have any readers yet, I am posting another chapter. I realize these chapters are short, I am having a little bit of writer's block. But you can probably expect great things from these simple chapters. I need to at least write enough to qualify for a beta. Again, sorry if Kurt is out of character or the writing style's a little muddled.

**Kurt's POV**

I ran into the dark solitude of the janitor's closet, my mind reeling with confusion. _What just happened?_ I tried to remember all that had occured..

* * *

I had just walked into school, and turned the corner to access my locker. Suddenly, a blindfold was wrapped around my eyes, and I felt 3 pairs of strong hands grab my torso and drag me away. I started panicking, and opened my mouth to scream.

_The jocks are cruel and torturing, but they would never kidnap me. They want me to be afraid, so they let me see their faces. Something isn't right, I'm not safe.._

I felt a large hand cover my mouth. It was warm, and I breathed in.

There were the usual scents: sweat, polyester.. the trademark of a jock. But then I began smelling more..

Axe spray-on deoderant (obviously of my silencer).. cayenne pepper (who in the world smells of CAYENNE PEPPER, of all things?).. and.. is that what i I think I smell? Grape slushie?

My train of thought was interrupted, however, when the blindfold covering my eyes was removed.

I opened my eyes and blinked. The room we were in was pitch black. I raised my hand to try to feel my way out of the small room, which was most likely one of McKinley's many closets. My hands grasped a cotton t-shirt. I drew my hands back. Cotton is too cheap for my manicured nails to touch.

A deep voice growled.

"Don't get too grabby yet, babe. The fun hasn't even started."

I felt my eyes go wide. The voice belonged to Noah Puckerman.

* * *

I smelled my hand. Axe deoderant. So Noah was the one who had grabbed me.

I felt a hand grope my butt. It was strong, and far too rough. I pulled away. The hands slammed me into the wall. I whimpered.

"Don't you dare. You're not going anywhere." Karofsky said. Cayenne filled my nasal cavity.

"Dude, Karofsky. Back off." _Finn?! So he was the grape slushied one. _It made sense. He wasn't exactly popular these days. I felt light kisses on my neck. "She's just a little scared.." _She?! _

_They thought I was a girl, _I realized. They must have just dragged a random person in here.. unfortunately, I was the random person.

_Maybe not unfortunate.._ I thought longingly as Finn continued kissing my neck. I moaned slightly. Puck began kissing the other side.

All of a sudden, I felt Puck pull away hastily. I heard him turn around. The next sound that filled my ears was that of bone breaking.

The door opened suddenly, and I looked out. Karofsky was sprawled out on the floor outside the closet.

Even though a puddle of blood was forming on the floor, his attention was drawn to me. He stared, wide-eyed.

"Maybe you should look twice to see just who you're grabbing next time, you idiot!" Puck roared.

Karofsky jumped up and attempted to get Puck's attention before the door slammed shut and the room returned to darkness. I heard Karofsky's unintelligible yells outside.

Eventually they stopped, and Puck returned to my side.

"S'okay, babe. Now it's just the three of us."

Even though I was being pleasured beyond my wildest dreams, I resisted the urge to continue and pushed both of them off roughly, turning on the light.

They stood, dazed for a little while. Then I watched as Puck and Finn's eyes grew wide. They looked at each other, and returned their eyes reluctantly to me.

We stood for a long moment like that, silence stilling the air. I broke it without regret.

"What. The. HELL WAS THAT?" I roared in my uncontrollable rage. Finn's eyes drifted to the floor and back. Puck stood there like he was a kindergartener who was being scolded for putting gum in someone's hair: otherwise known as the "guilty as hell" look.

"Nothing? Good." I opened the door, and walked out, brooding.

Soon, however, the adrenaline wore off, and I realized I had no idea what I'd been doing for the last fifteen minutes.

I began to hyperventilate slightly, and felt my eyes watering. I ran down the hallway, and made for the first closet I saw.


	3. Chapter 3: Taking Chances

**Story: **Can't Fight This Feeling

**Chapter: **Taking Chances

**Disclaimer: **Damn, I wish I owned Glee..

**Author's Note: **Yes, I realize this is a completely and utterly short chapter. I just hadn't updated in a little bit and thought this would tide you over until my headache goes away. Plus I'm kinda busy tonight, with homework and all. Thank you for adding alerts, you two wonderful people! :D

**Puck's POV**

_Fuck! _I thought as I saw the soft-skinned moaner was Kurt.

* * *

The whole 'grabbing a random person' thing was supposed to be fun. A dare. Karofsky, Finn and I were the most wanted dudes around, and I guess the football team just got a little jealous. They didn't think we would have the guts to do a dumb thing like that. I mean, if you consider having a foursome with three football players and a random stranger was dumb.

Karofsky jumped at the chance. He wasn't exactly getting any action. Most people hated him.

Finn was shy about it. I sneered at the thought of his normally friendly face getting scared and shocked at the idea.

I, however, was stoked. It wasn't like any of the chicks around here _hadn't_ had sex with me. I'm a stud.

So, Finn being outvoted (and he probably would have been outcasted for NOT doing it), we planned for the event.

All the football players wanted us to just grab someone, no matter who it was, and start. We agreed with it. Then they made us promise we had to be blindfolded and drag a person in.

That didn't go over so well. But eventually we had to, since we would have had a fucking bloodbattle over it if the football players didn't agree. So later, Karofsky, Finn, and I talked - without consulting the damn football players - about how we would make sure it was a girl. We decided we'd wait for the smell of flowers or vanilla or some girly shit walked through the door. _Girls and their smelly lotion.. _

But we saw just how well that went over.


	4. Chapter 4: Don't Make Me Over

**Story: **Can't Fight This Feeling

**Chapter: **Don't Make Me Over

**Disclaimer: **Ha, I actually do own Glee. Because I'm totally Ryan Murphy. And I'm bald. And male. Yep. (and if you didn't get it, that was most definitely sarcasm!!!)

**Author's Note: **I'm really sorry for the long wait. I just have a lot of writer's block, and after listening all day to only Glee-ified Madonna songs and reading piles of Glee fanfiction, I finally got a spark of creative genius. I know this is short, I really do. But next chapter should be a lot longer (no promises there). I'm also being forced to perform Shakespeare's _Much Ado About Nothing _in English, the teacher of said English class being extremely unpredictable. Week before last, she had a pop quiz making us perform Act 1 totally OFF SCRIPT, and if she hadn't heard me explaining the plot to one of my friends she would have failed me. So.. do you see now?

Please review, it really does help my motivation issues.

**Kurt's POV**

I held my face in my trembling hands, my eyes closed and damp. It was just all too much.

_I mean, how would you react if your long-term crush, your arch nemesis, and the school Neanderthal started to impassively smother you in kisses and ass-gropes? All at the same time.._

I started to ponder the reason of this unusual gathering, when the blue bucket I was sitting on creaked warningly from under me. My eyes snapped open, and I stood up quickly.

No way were these jeans going to touch the undoubtedly filthy floors of McKinely's janitorial closets.

I giggled a little at the irony of that. _Janitor's closets. Dirty. Ha ha._

I sniffed, and pulled the metal chain dangling from the bare lightbulb above my head.

I reached into my bag, grabbing my compact mirror. My eyes were a little red, and my light eye makeup had run a little (I tried to ignore the puffiness of my lips), but besides that I looked basically normal.

I took out my emergency equipment: Makeup remover, mascara, and eye drops. I whisked my flustered appearance back into presentable shape, and smoothed out the wrinkles in my clothing. One last peek in the mirror, and I had opened the door and strutted out. The hallways were deserted.

_Damn, I've missed first period. Oh well. I'll just __ensconce myself in the library until second period starts. _

* * *

The rest of the day went reasonably smoothly, aside from a few frosty glares directed at the three would-be rapists.

Until Glee club.


	5. Chapter 5: Home

**Story:** Can't Fight This Feeling

**Chapter: **Home

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Glee, I would have Adam Lambert be a frequent guest star and it would have been "Power of Glambert" and HIS songs would be blasting in the hallways.

**Author's Note: **I'm so sorry :( I know I'm a horrible author for not writing since April. My muse had died and rotted in it's badly dug grave. I bought a new one from the muse store, though. So maybe I can write more often now!

Whenever I say "'chairs'", I'm talking about a reference in some fanfiction (I can't remember which for the life of me) where they refer to the chairs as "plastic monstrosities they call 'chairs'". I thought that I wrote it, but I guess not! Sorry, author of said fanfiction!

Since I've been gone so long, I got slightly out of Kurt's voice. I'm sorry.

I'm writing another fanfiction as we speak, a one-shot. (P.S. It features Puck singing "For Your Entertainment"!) So if you add me as an author alert, you'll know about it when it gets published. It'll be really long. REALLY long. Like, I'm not even halfway through yet and it's like 2,600 words LONG. I'm tired now, so just read it and enjoy. May sleep 'hang upon me like a disease!' (Yes, I DID just quote Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare.)

**Kurt's POV**

I hadn't even thought vaguely about what would happen in Glee Club after the whole almost-rape. So, when I strolled in, arm in arm with Mercedes, I probably should have predicted the boys' reactions.

It was almost as if time had stopped; Finn whipping his head up, staring fearfully at my figure; Puck stopping his gawking at Santana's ass and seemingly trying to seek a place to hide from my eyes. Mercedes and I stopped too, earning me a questioning glance from her before pulling me forward into the two open front 'chairs'.

Once we were seated, Mercedes turned towards me. _Oh, dear God, she has that smile and that look in her eye that says, "Spill it,". _

"Alright, white boy, what the hell is going on? You're acting like you've just been slushied. Why are you so angry all of a sudden?" Mercedes inquired.

"I'd tell you but I'm afraid I'm going to lose my cool and hit someone.."

Mercedes' eyes were wide as dinner plates. She was about to retort back when Mr. Schuester walked in and began to gather the Gleeks for a run-through of Home. He had liked the song when April sang it so much that he felt the need to have us perform it every rehearsal and torture us with the fact that April was now on Broadway, achieving her dream when we were stuck in Lima, Ohio for eternity. And if that didn't (to put it bluntly) suck enough, I was being forced to stand IN BETWEEN: you guessed it, Puck and Finn.

We filtered into the auditorium, growling slightly when Mr. Schue insisted on me staying in my spot. I trudged over, glaring icily at Puck before I faced the front _(I could never do that to Finn!)_. Tina began her solo and I closed my eyes and sighed before letting her sweet, soft voice fill my ears.

_When I think of home  
I think of a place where there's love overflowing  
I wish I was home  
I wish I was back there  
With the things I've been knowing  
_

I began singing my 'ahh's when the curtain rose. I took a glance at Finn; he was standing as far away from me as humanly possible. I felt my heart twang hollowly against my chest; this certainly wasn't making our relationship easier. One of my 'ahh's cracked slightly.

_Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning  
Suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning  
Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean_

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back  
Now that I have some direction  
It sure would be nice to be back home  
Where there's love and affection  
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up  
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up  
Time be my friend, let me start again

To make it fair, I snuck a look at Puck. _Big mistake_. He was looking at me from the corners of his eyes, clearly looking at my ass; my lips; my chest.. that is, until he realized I was studying his movements. Puck blushed slightly and tensed up, flashing his eyes around to find anything else to look at.

_Suddenly my world has gone and changed its face  
But I still know where I'm going  
I have had my mind spun around in space  
Yet I've watched it glowing_

If you're listening God  
Please don't make it hard to know  
If we should believe in the things that we see  
Tell us, should we try and stay  
Or should we run away?  
Or would it be better just to let things be?

To me, those last two lines were exactly what was going through my mind.

Living here, in this brand new world  
Might be a fantasy, oh...  
But it taught me to love  
So it's real, real, real to me

And I've learned  
That we must look, look inside our hearts  
To find a world full of love  
Like yours, like mine  
Like home... Home.

We finished, all taking breaths. Mr. Schue frowned at us.

"What's wrong, Mr. Schue?" Tina asked. _It's a tad bit weird to hear her without the speech impedimentation, I kind of miss it._

"Nothing, nothing.. It was amazing, guys, really," he said thoughtfully. Mr. Schuester took a gander at the clock.

"Oh, gosh. Look how time flies! You guys had better go before your folks start wondering about you. See you tomorrow, kids!" Mr. Schue concluded.

We began packing up our things and I had put but one toe out the door when Mr. Schue stopped me.

"Hey Kurt, I'd like for you to wait here awhile, okay? That goes for you guys too, Puck, Finn."

Puck groaned and stalked back inside, Finn following. I sat down in the farthest 'chair' from Puck's and Finn's and waited for Mr. Schuester to begin his questioning.

"I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. What's up? You guys seemed bothered by something today."

The three of us looked at each other before I began.

"I'll have you know, Mr. Schue, that all of us are just having a hard time in our Science class. We have been assigned as partners and, seeing as (and let me list the reasons) Puck has replaced Finn as Quinn's baby daddy, Finn's mother and my father are dating, and Puck tosses me in the dumpsters every day, I believe that working civilly with one another is out of the question. Isn't that right, GUYS?" I lied, turning to Puck and Finn, who looked slightly dazed.

Finn was the first to speak up. "Yeah, Mr. Schue, Science. You know how hard World War One is to study."

Puck rammed his elbow into Finn's side. "You idiot, that's in History!"

"Oh. Right."

"Guys, guys! Okay, I get it. Calm down! Just.. loosen up next time, okay? You guys were stiff as boards out there," Mr. Schue consoled.

"Whatever you say, Mr. S.," Puck breathed, rolling his eyes and dashing out the door. _Not that Finn and I didn't rush out as fast, either. _


	6. Chapter 6: I Kissed A Girl

**Story: **Can't Fight This Feeling

**Chapter: **I Kissed A Girl

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. If I did, Puck would be attracted to Kurt like Britney Spears is to razors. (If you decide to quote that, make sure to credit me ;) I came up with it, after all!)

**Author's Note: **Er.. Hi.. probably disappointed fans. Sorry for my muse. This one's defective. I have family over right now. Like, staying here. So self-time hardly ever happens. I'm also sorry that my excuses are frequent too.

If I were you, I'd pull up the previous chapter and read the 'Home' scenes side by side. I did when I was writing it.

I'm going to try and finish this story fast, before I quit or something. So chapters will be pretty packed full of stuff, and it's not going to be what I wanted in the beginning, but then I can work on my one-shot, which is more satisfying to me. (Good plot for that, just letting you know in advance)

**Puck's POV**

I growled as the Cheerio I was making out with ground herself against me. She moaned sluttily.

As my mouth smashed against hers, I remembered the earlier events of that day.

* * *

_Fuck,_ I thought as I saw Kurt complaining to Mr. Schue about the placement of Finn, Kurt and I. Mr. Schue didn't budge. As Kurt sauntered over to his spot, grumbling furiously, I knew I was in trouble.

Because, DAMN, Kurt was fucking hot. _Wait.. WHAT? Kurt's not hot, he's a fag. Yeah, he might have one fucking juicy piece of an ass, legs for miles, and a thin, toned structure but he's a fag. _

Somewhere inside of him, a little voice called, _Sure, he's gay, but he's hot and you know it. Don't be a pussy, admit that you want to fuck him. Admit that for Hummel, you'd be a fag any day._

_Uh, no. _

_Uh, YES. I'm your inner voice. The one that speaks the truth. Don't argue with me. _

Kurt stepped in between Finn and I, then glared at me. I winced inside. _Well, inner voice, it sure as hell wouldn't matter, considering that Hu- Kurt hates me._

I was interrupted from my thoughts when the music began and Tina started singing.

_When I think of home  
I think of a place where there's love overflowing  
I wish I was home  
I wish I was back there  
With the things I've been knowing  
_

*_Y'know, Tina's pretty hot. Too bad Artie's got dibs, I would and could tap th- Hey! Why does Finn get to be looked over? I was in that closet too, and I broke Karofky's nose for y- Oh, geez, I hate seeing you all sad and lonely like that.. and please don't let it fuck up your singing.._

_Wind that makes the tall grass bend into leaning  
Suddenly the raindrops that fall have a meaning  
Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean  
_

After seeing Kurt so lonely, I took the chance to drool over his body. _Okay, fine, little voice. So maybe I'm gay for him. But only him. I'm like, Hummelsexual or something. _

_Maybe there's a chance for me to go back  
Now that I have some direction  
It sure would be nice to be back home  
Where there's love and affection  
And just maybe I can convince time to slow up  
Giving me enough time in my life to grow up  
Time be my friend, let me start again  
_

_*Oh, god.. so fucking hot. It's no wonder Aretha had a major crush on h- OH FUCK! He's looking at me! _I felt my face go hot and I whipped my eyes around the room nonchalantly.

_Suddenly my world has gone and changed its face  
But I still know where I'm going  
I have had my mind spun around in space  
Yet I've watched it glowing_

If you're listening God  
Please don't make it hard to know  
If we should believe in the things that we see  
Tell us, should we try and stay  
Or should we run away?  
Or would it be better just to let things be?

To me, those last lines were exactly what was going through my mind.

_Living here, in this brand new world  
Might be a fantasy, oh...  
But it taught me to love  
So it's real, real, real to me_

And I've learned  
That we must look, look inside our hearts  
To find a world full of love  
Like yours, like mine  
Like home... Home.

We finished and I slunk my shoulders, looking at the ground. I knew I was stiff inside my pants _(yes, my pants. not my underwear. I go commando, remember?)_, and I reached soundlessly for my backpack and dangled it from my wrists in a way that covered my hard on.

Later, after Mr. Schue's talk:

I was suddenly hit by the truth I had realized only minutes ago. _I love Hu- Kurt. I'm.. gay.._

That was when I freaked out. I grabbed a Cheerio and we made a beeline for the next closet. The girl, a slutty, pigtailed, blondie was ecstatic to oblige. _Hey, I may have totally ruined my social life, my love life, and my home life was already ruined, but there was still the resident future prostitutes to give me pleasure. _I didn't like doing that at all, though. The damn girls sucked at sex and never got him off right. So, makeout sessions were the extent of Puck's interactions with them.

* * *

That moment, I felt terrible and filthy and whorish and altogether disgusted. I pushed off the Cheerio, ignoring her whimpers, and it was in that sudden epiphany of determination that I decided: I would come out of the closet.

..No, really. I left the closet.

**Author's Note: **Hellooooooooooooooo again. The 'Hummelsexual' bit was, unfortunately, not my idea, it was in an absolutely wonderful story called "I'd Lie" by IceQueenRia. And after you read that, there's the sequel, "The Reason". Review! Rest In Peace, Season 1 of Glee and Happy Summer!


End file.
